After losing Nikita, I found it difficult to look through the photography I had so lovingly captured through the years of my Corgi-boyz. Photographing Dockers and Cody had become less frequent. As I was starting to pick up the camera again and ready to ramp up their blog/photography journal, life had other plans. The slow and steady decline of my Docker’s health was looming. Losing Doc a couple of months ago and the memories still fresh from losing Nikita has been emotionally taxing.
The house, the yard…is so still, quiet and has lost some of their happy energy and brilliant life sources. I still find Nikita’s toys out in the yard. Overgrown ground cover and vegetation has preserved where their owner had dropped them…because he was rarely without a tennis ball, golf ball, and old dried out ham bone or some new loved object. When I discover his treasured objects, the bittersweet memories come flooding back and I’m careful not to disturb the places he left them.
Dozens of lizards run throughout the yard less fearful that the ever-diligent Dockers, the scout, will keep them in line. Dockers had created a carved out path around our property where he patrolled his territory…marking, smelling and keeping creatures at bay. Today I noticed that his once worn paths are slowly starting to grow in – and that makes me sad.
I miss them so much. I just want to pick each one of them up, hug them tight and shower them with kisses, just once more.
There’s a saying that goes like this…
“If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
I’m living in the past.
Without a doubt, Cody misses them too. He’s become a full-time indoor fur kid now. Things like playing ball, eating and tearing through the yard has taken a new dimension without his elders.
There’s been so much I’ve wanted to share on Corgi Tales. However, I’ve always wanted to keep Corgi Tales a happy place and my frame of mind and state of grief and mourning, I feared, would come through in my writing.
Even more so now, I’m so grateful that over the years I kept up in some way, shape or form with my Corgis’ blog. I’ll continue to do so with the full intention of honoring their beautiful souls and continue to capture the lovable character that our Cody is to us.
Trying to get to the present…
-Cristina | Corgi Tales
